So, why don't we do it more?
How to tap into your reflection superpower!
Socially and culturally, in our upbringing and adult lives, at school, and at work, we are encouraged and rewarded as problem solvers and action-takers. Physiologically, we have also evolved as such. Our big, beautiful brains evolved for survival through problem avoidance or fixing. This is our analytic muscle and it is important.
We have another muscle of equal value, yet often under-nurtured and undervalued in schools and businesses. When this muscle partners with our problem solving and action, this feeds and strengthens our analysis, generating better outcomes. This is our reflection muscle and it tends to be weak. It takes time, it's neither taught nor recognized and incentivized much. So, it is simply used less.
History's greatest thinkers and teachers are strong reflectors and analyzers. Consider Socrates and Aristotle, Descartes, Confucius, Galileo, Isaac Newton... . Their reflections, and resulting analysis and conclusions, progressed our societies and will continue to influence us through time. With more upfront reflection:
Subsequent analysis and action can be easier, faster
Outcomes better and even more creative and innovative.
Think of people you admire today... leaders in business, academia and science, law and policy makers, entrepreneurs, journalists and authors, and so on. Think of particular friends, family and coworkers you look up to. Do they maybe take a little more time to reflect? Such as before speaking, deciding, solving, or before crafting that game-changing policy, pulitzer article or best selling book? I suspect they do! And are their learnings and outcomes generally better? Probably yes, more than no. What they say becomes more diplomatic, feels thoughtful, considerate, focused. While never perfect (does that even exist?), when reflection is part of the game, the decision or solution feels, and generally is, more solid.
Our thoughts have power. Power for the negative and bad, the superficial and mediocre. Power for the positive and good, the deeper and the outstanding. We sometimes (often?) go straight from reactive thoughts to action with little to no reflection. Real consideration or integration of experience and learnings is lacking and thus not leveraged. In our haste to solve, achieve, perform quickly, buzzing through our busy days, we can accept thoughts at face value, not questioning what is actually true, real or other possibilities, not getting to the more powerful positive and good.
We're human and we love to solve problems, we're programmed that way. It's normal. So, we jump to complete tasks and implement solutions. We also get little hits of mood-boosting dopamine along the way, supporting this pattern. Our teachers, professors, colleagues and bosses, praise us for being fast, providing release of heartwarming oxytocin, as we feel pride and as we are appreciated.
In our haste to achieve, we can proceed with limited depth of understanding and inadequate information. This can result in more repeats of the same learnings, overlooking root cause in favour of bandaids slapped on surface symptoms, and solutions missing the mark. Worst case, we are destined to be caught up in redo cycles of frustration and wasted time and effort.
This all dilutes our potential and power for the good.
Don't rush reflection—this defeats the purpose. The purpose is "slowing down, to enrich" and to develop that valuable reflective muscle.
Reflections are thoughts, too, but also feelings, intuition, memories and integrate our experiences and learnings. Reflection is slower, deeper and brings in a diversity of wisdom from experience and multiple inputs and even our senses, emotions and body mind intelligence, too.
Reflective thinking creates opportunity to tap into all levels of our intelligence when we choose to pause and inquire and listen: to our gut, heart, body, and soul as well as different parts of our brain and our nervous systems, and to loop in our learnings from the past, examining today's broader contexts, outside inputs and support, and even imaginings and intuitions of the future.
Reflection both deepens and surfaces awareness.
The species we humans belong to is Homo sapien, or "wise human", meaning we have intelligence and awareness. Our subspecies is Homo sapien sapien, loosely meaning we have an extra level, being aware AND a deeper ability to be aware of our awareness. We can do this ONLY if we consciously make this our intention and we pay attention. Paying attention can have degrees in depth, dependent upon capacity to reflect. Capacity brings in intention, time, practiced skill and ultimately habits formed where it becomes our "way", if you like.
Our reflective capacity can be evolved. The strongest reflection is paying attention to all those layers. It tunes in to more so it can't help but inform quality decisions and richer outcomes. Even if we only pay attention to one or two layers, it is stronger.
So why don't we reflect more?
It takes time. It goes against our dominant programming in the oldest parts of our brain. It's not taught much in schools or by our parents (this is changing!). It's difficult to build into performance goals and so is not directly incentivized at work (although quality decisions and outcomes can be).
Another hurdle can be cultural and societal messaging. Norms of the past 50+ years, in many parts of our world, have worshipped the cult of speedy and busy. Thankfully there is a tide change towards healthier balance and pace with recognition of how this produces quality benefits that can beat busy's quantity. Fed by our past influences and the cult of be busy, the stumbling block some of us are up against is an entrenched go-go-go habit. This takes time and practice to un-trench and form new habits.
It also requires us to be intentional in creating space for reflection—as an individual and in group and team settings, at work and personally. This can feel hard. And it does take a little planning, reminders or whatever tools might help derail the old habit and build up the new. Without committed intention, we tend to default to the old track: mainly using our analytic muscle and missing out on the superpower that reflection can be!
Addressing all three of these factors ties into The Pause and it relates to my own personal goal and mantra which originally was, "Go slow, to go better". A twist on the Go slow to go fast. As an update aside: My mantra is now "slowing down enriches", so I need to write a new article.
I don't mind sharing, I'm finding this challenging. I'm rewiring my decades-strong go-go-go habit. As a coach, I drink my own champagne so I have my own coach. This is one way I'm intentionally creating space. A trusted, objective coach can be a powerful Pause Partner in reflection and analysis.
As a result of reflection, I'm learning about moving from being a high-performer to becoming a high-value-creator. Reflection is a big part of what feeds value (enriches) in whatever we do, on our own and with others.
A two part approach to reflection
Below is one idea—I invite you to find what works for you (i.e., when it connects with you and works in your life without being overwhelming). I offer as simply an idea. The best way and type of reflection is one that you actually do.
I now schedule "PBN Time". (No, not peanut butter, banana and Nutella, although that is delicious!) It is to Pause, Breathe, and Notice, at least once a day. This is coupled with what I call 4R reflection: Recognize, Radically Accept, Reframe, Refocus.
This two-part activity can take 10 minutes, or longer if you choose. Don't rush—this defeats the purpose, which is to develop that valuable reflective muscle. I'm finding this activity is strengthening my capacity to slow it down and to reflect. My reflections in include noticing in what ways this approach is enriching. For example, I find I'm achieving more of what is most important and meaningful. I'm feeling calmer and my outcomes are more impactful. My hope is this may be helpful or may inspire something that works for you.
Part one: PBN Time
Find a comfortable position and:
Pause. Simply stop. Be still for a moment. Clear your mind; put your "to-dos" to the side.
Breathe. Settle yourself comfortably, consciously relax any holding in your body while taking 3 slow, breaths, longer and more fully on the exhale than on the inhale. (If thoughts or to-dos arise, say hello then let them go for now.)
Now notice. Ask: What changed for me? Where do I feel that in my mind, my body?
There's a method to this madness.
Pause is the prerequisite that enriches any reflection. We tend NOT to do this, so it's worth stating the obvious: None of this happens as well without The Pause!
Breathing sets us up for success. Science tells us—through imaging technologies and tons of research—just 3 lovely breaths switch us from using our sympathetic nervous system (which let's face it, comes from busy and is also overworked!) to our parasympathetic nervous system (putting us into rest and digest and opening us up to possibility and broader thinking). In fact, research indicates some delicious conscious breathing is the only thing that does the job of resetting our nervous system. Simply breathing more like this serves us very well!
Tip: Some find breathing difficult to focus on. It can help to add in some hand movements with the breath. For example, as you inhale lift your hands up from your lap a little (or a lot), let your hands float back down with your exhale.
Noticing is a form of reflection. It helps us integrate and magnify benefits from PBN, enriching the process! The way it works is, as we notice beneficial changes our brain feels this like a reward and sends sweet and reinforcing neurotransmitters like dopamine through our system (yay!).
Part two: The four Rs
This is a deeper reflection of where you are now generally in your day, or more specifically such as after a training session or in a project. Take a few minutes, and use four Rs: Recognize, Radically Accept, Reframe and Refocus. (You may journal or simply note outcome and go from there.)
Here's what you might ask yourself:
What am I recognizing? Reflect on: how I'm being, what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. (Don't jump to solution or outcome, yet!)
How can I radically accept what I am, what was and is? [All of it. The good stuff, too. Not judging or only looking at what isn't or what should have been.] Name it. Accept it, with self-compassion if needed. Then move on.
How can I reframe any recognized challenge, negative thought or issue? If something feels difficult or pressuring, for example. How could this be reworded as a positive? And what if it were easy?
Now, how will I refocus? Consider: What am I learning from this? How do I choose to be for the rest of this day? What are the next two priorities? You might identify the simplest path [1] and prioritize the first small steps. Now be and do from there.
This is working for me. Something like it worked for those great thinkers, past and present. [Direct message me or use my connect form if you would like to exploring coaching and leveraging this approach.]
So, what could work for you?
I'll be cheeky and invite a little reflection here. How and where can reflection become a stronger tool? How would this benefit you? How will reflection's value ripple out to others—in your team, your organization, for your family, maybe in relationships.
Reflection needs outcome
Reflection by itself is a power and not yet a superpower. Or not yet letting the lightning out of the bottle. Until we add a change or action, we're either in over-reflection (reflecting till the cows come home, but with no outcome) or we are in under-reflection (reflecting too lightly, without going deeper to come anywhere even close to actions that could lead to enriched outcomes).
This ties back to three great and well-known reflective questions: What, so what and now what? The four Rs can take us to at least one, possibly more, outcomes. It could be a slight change in our way of being, our attitude and perspective. It can also be an action plan or reprioritization.
Towards the end of your reflection, ask yourself "now what" and make a commitment to an outcome. Outcome is what adds the "super" to reflection's power.
Ways of reflecting
There are infinite ways to reflect. All of them require intention and integration into our lives to grow that reflective muscle capacity. Mindfulness is a form of reflection centred on in-the-moment experience and feeling and sensing that fully. Using what, so what, now what is a form of learning integration reflection.
Experiment (and keep trying). The key is coming up with what works for you.
Being coached is one way that works to build in reflection and to develop that capacity for yourself outside of coaching. Reflection is an impactful cornerstone of coaching in sports, leadership, individual performance, team or group settings.
As coaches, we can also bring in tools supporting reflection—psychometrics, engagement surveys, and cultural assessments for example.
In my work as a coach, we may bring in Lumina Learning's Spark Coach and Teams or SupportingLines Institutes' High-Performance Index. We may leverage artwork, too; such as Symbolon AG's Art4Reflection in Business. These tools are extraordinarily effective and fun.
In my work as a Lean coach, I recognize a key to Lean's effectiveness is that reflection is built in—both individually and collaboratively. For instance, Lean brings reflection into the principles of Gemba Walk (going and seeing to understand right where the action is happening); Hansei (relentless reflection and action); and making decisions based on long-term value vs. short term financial gain. There's a reason Lean problem-solving events are called Kaizen—meaning "good change".
I leave you with a wee reflection
Reflection can be your superpower at any time. It is at your fingertips and can be a way to coach yourself.
How about a little reflection right now (or gift yourself time later).
Very simply, this is how it could go:
Pause your day. Maybe pour yourself a fresh cuppa.
Settle comfortably. Breathe. Slowly. Three times. Notice how that feels.
Now, read and reflect on the quotes in the image above in this article. Here are some questions that can help:
What makes sense to you? How do they inform you? (If they do.)
What might this inspire in learning or relearning about yourself?
How could this be important or meaningful right now?
What could you do with that learning? What are some ideas?
And what one small concrete step will you take? By when?
After reading this article and maybe trying some reflective muscle flexes and reps...
... what do you think about reflection as a superpower, now?
... how is it like lightning in a bottle?
Comments